The Final Drawings in the year of Our Lord; 2010

The first of drawing of the final two projects is "The Scars Throughout, Within". This piece has been fine tuned over the past, ten or so, odd years. It started with an etching of a man caught in a sort of brick back drop, or field. A completely subconscious thought during an early attempt at a polished narrative. I ended up drawing that figure several times within the course of a few years. I sold a bright tube colored painting of it, and even bequeathed the colored pencil rendering of the piece to the buyer. I have many ties with the figure. It is an abstraction of self, and there are many ties, and layers that become more and more apparent when an artists decides to use themselves as subject matter that bubble up from inside. The fetal position is a re-occurring theme in my work, and the ties to it are before I awoke to my own awareness. I was a breach birth, that is when I was born I came out backwards, bottom first, with the umbilical cord around my neck. They had to put me in an incubation chamber and a tube was inserted into the side of my chest to inflate my lung, which had collapsed while still in-utero. The cords that suspend the fetal figure are intended to be interpreted as bonds, or chains, in the form of veins. This shows that the figures biological make up is the very thing that keeps him caught in his current form of stasis. I had not noticed until today that the vein leading out of his side is the same place as the scar on my side from when I was an infant. Others then raised an interesting point of correlation to the Christ as well. Pre-natal resuscitation has some interesting historical, and anthropological correlations given our current point of evolution. The composition, however is meant to be viewed as if the light source were emulating form the page, around the figure, showing the dynamics of collapse, and stoic suspension, not the birth of a half dead psuedo-christ. I also was striving for clean and crisp lines, and a simplification of my drawing process to negate the sketchiness that is common in a lot of work. If I were to change anything I would perhaps go over the piece once more with some softer graphite to give the piece more definition and even more clarity. It is odd that a fetal figure stays half animated while a seated figure is automatically associated with being at ease in world of the living. That is why my second piece "Delirium Tremens" is created with charcoal an ink, as well as pencil; as to give the piece a hierarchy, and punch that has impact synonymous with the subject itself. I also wanted a mirror to the other piece to represent a dark symbiotic relationship between the two pieces. They were not meant to be viewed together as a single piece by any means, but as the artist it is apparent that they were created in the same time span.

Delirium Tremens is the shakes. When a person becomes an alcoholic their body becomes dependent upon alcohol, as well as being poisoned by it, the truth behind any addiction. Delirium Tremens are the tremors that run through poisoned veins causing the hand to shake uncontrollably. I have had struggles with alcoholism in the past, and given the recent developments on campus I thought now would be a good time to make the statement. It is a statement of fear, exhaust, and self inflicted helplessness. The man seated cannot get up, cannot leave his room, and cannot even hold a glass anymore. His face is distinguished by a shadow of a death mask, and he is half naked. I wanted to utilize an ink wash over the charcoal to give a bleeding aesthetic, like the pouring of an empty bottle. A visual synecdoche that would help translate the piece in the visual language of mark making, causing those made marks to blur and distort. The choice of charcoal for media was intentional, for a bit of grittiness that I wanted the composition to hold in its design. The ink also unifies the page, lending to the sense of chiaroscuro in an off kilter manner in order to heighten the "delirium". It is personal, as well as comprehensive, and a piece that, in essence, is "on time".

Emulation: Why Scheile, and How.

In this project I decided to emulate Egon Schiele, the Viennese Expressionist. The first aspect of Schiele that I modeled my piece after was the portrait. Egon was said to have a body of work that was exhausted in self portraiture. Other aspects that are notable are the deliberation of the mark that flattens the image, bringing it closer to the canvas, or page. Also, there is a familiar feel of simplification to the composition, and emphasis on line quality that is not to be ignored. The piece that is foremost in my mind is a self-portrait sitting minus the chair. It is the model for the composition. I also decided to emulate the quilt pattering in the heavier marks of some of Schiele's
more ambitious paintings, most notably "Death and the Maiden", and "Agony", as well at the patterned background in many of his landscapes. I wanted to maintain my own sense of aestheticism, so I kept my own hand the prominent quality in the piece, just as Shiele would. In this way I was able to abandon a mere copy and keep the work mine. In short the aspect of Expressionism was kept only in theory in order to maintain the integrity of the piece, though the construction of the composition was all borrowed. The major dichotomy between a Schiele piece and my emulation is the absence of watercolor, but the remainder still being charcoal. In closing the styles may differ but the theory of aesthetic is upheld.

The Gentle Abstract Narrative; "Underneath My Night Sky"

This piece was a struggle for me, but in the end I considered it a success. I used an old concept that I have rehashed several times before the concept worked itself out. This final version oil on glass. What I hoped for the piece to reflect was the polarization "gentle" and the hard definition of the surface of the glass. The narrative would carry the idea the rest of the way. The beginning concept was a man lying underneath the night sky underneath a meteor shower. I wanted a bridge in the composition to symbolize the connection between the man and the sky. What happened later was I decided to redraw a failed painting and used some borrowed imagery, so I incorporated a bridge ruin, but still did not have a handle on the figure, so I attempted a few stills of myself lying in my apartment. It was not until four months later this past winter break when I asked my brother to take a few shots of me on the floor until the figure finally emerged. Still the piece was not ready. I had the composition but not the representation. There was no voice, no identity. In a moment of experimentation I printed out the photo and the used cray pa's to go over the print, then the vehicle presented itself. A voice of it's own had finally called out and now I could speak. A man lying in a glass field in patch grass, or flower bed. Stoic, and living. When the opportunity presented itself in the form of a gentle abstract narrative I jumped at the chance to put the work into production. I had found a pane of glass about to be thrown out and it was perfect for the feeling that I wanted the work to carry with it. The finished product has a stain glass aesthetic, and there are parts of the window pane left unpainted, this helps with the transition of light that follow across piece within dark and light contrast of the paint. The lighting is the key to the viewing. Up close it looks dirty, to much light in the wrong place and it seems overworked. but when lit well the tired remains of a man rest gently under the falling night sky, at bliss in a ray of pure hard light, resting gently in a place of his own,"Underneath My Night Sky".

Editorial: I now know I am "INFJ" oh yeah! (told in first person fictisous narritive)

Introverted Intuitive Feeling Judging types, like myself often muse on their plateau of solitude of the utterances and ramblings of the flock that they belong to rumbling somewhere far off in the distance. Aries by dogma and "INFJ" by trade, we the 22% introverted, 25% Intuitives, 12% feelers that only judge with 11% of our being tend to gravitate towards a weightier cause. We are the virtual psychic Robin Hoods for the blue collar working class, Heroes of the oppressed and in our fellowship with all humanity dream of a day when justice will come and there will be the emergence of a third or even fourth political party that holds some standing with the common voter, well at least enough to make a difference, or put up a really good fight. Our virtual clarity of perception makes our presence felt on the innermost circle of the soul, true empaths that grasp that the heart and mind only work in conjunction and cannot stand alone. Apparently though prophetic by reputation we too "express a range of emotion and opinions of, for, and about people". When I am not daydreaming of a pacifistic social upheaval I day dream in the corner biding my time. Silent and aloof, waiting for the snap in my mind and the spring in my soul to balance the scales. Pondering, probing, wishing and waiting for tomorrow to begin today. But that is only because I have been "twice blessed with clarity of vision both internal and exterenal". For when the subconscious ceases to be present, and the true self is reached only then will the world around us crystallize and we will remember to let go of all things that truly do not matter. On that day our freedom will finally rise from the ashes of the phoenix as set the night sky aflame with it's majestic flight. It's kinda sad that the results remind me of me, but then again...

Ordinary to Extraordinary Half Block Walk

For our first assignment, "Ordinary to Extraordinary" I felt that I critiqued the first failure to a tee. All of the mistakes made in the first piece were turned over and renovated in the second to fabricate a drawing that I am proud of. The second piece posses a continuity within the overall composition which the first attempt blatantly lacked. I think that the key to the success of the second piece is that I feel that I had enough of a picture in front of me to realize the image that I was grasping at initially. The second construction is ordered, not over worked, edited, and also more elegantly drawn without time constraints as well as a more considerable amount of patience as well as study within the duration of the drawing of the piece. I feel that it is more clearly defined, as well as refined, also the definition of the piece is more professional, as well as considerate, and finally there was more care placed in the final design of the second drawing while the first I look more as a "to scale" prototype. All and all I wish a few things, but not much could have changed in the end product. Mostly factors of time, media management and workplace environment.
In the piece I tried to capture the ever presence of the apartment I live in in by juxtaposing images from home, with myself as a character reference. Surrounded by daily norms, in the form of object and ritual I wanted to encompass what my mornings are derived of before the short jaunt down the block to class. As the brightness of the day hits me and the passerby's I'm am out and above the lock and key of my humble domicile, and with the short landscape passing me as I walk through a window of the mind's eye into a distant place I am still dreaming of coffee. All the while my cat awaits my return, keeping watch over 1302.

ArtLessons chaps 1-3

I found myself agreeing with the way the author went about describing the reasoning behind choosing art as your profession. I have asked myself some of the very same questions in passing and have come up with some of the same answers. Art is a challenging profession, and because I that an honest trade. The artistic merit can only be defined and seen by the care and craftsmanship behind and successful piece. The book talks of vocation in it's full meaning and I find the parallel in my own life impossible to dismiss. To sing with my hands and make image for honest pay. I have found the right place for me to be. Here outside the city I am comfortably alone, and have surrounded myself with the necessary psychic tools for the job. Between time and the quiet, patience could be woven into practice here. Learning to do what you love is not a thrill seeking odyssey. Growing pains now aside I have a clear picture of what is needed to learn at the foothills of the master's mountain. I also love the ideology behind educating oneself in theological and spiritual matters of the world outside. Finding a physical example of the mentality of a soul helps us understand the subjective. This in turn opens our eyes up to ideas that are being presented before us, and if they seem strange and difficult in nature perhaps a Zen Garden will push out any fear that lurks beneath the inward struggle between ignorance and ego. Being able to be enlightened is part of the job description, otherwise inspiration would never come calling. Finally write. I couldn't keep track otherwise and would have to remember to remember, and I would not be able to work honestly, because the image deserves to not have parts left out. Finding every impression of a moment takes reflection. Otherwise art work is impotent and half-hearted, sterile and blind without the homage it is due.

Semester Intro

Hello, there are some who call me Tim, most... call me Tim.
I am a nontraditional return student here in Menomonie and I am having a great time.
Pretty much a self taught artist I my studio courses back in the day were never my "A" courses, passed them, but that is all. This time round I feel prepared in my commitment, decision making, my and passion for the Arts as a drive that motivates me in my work and propels me toward the future. Working past fear and traditional boundaries of art students I left disgusted and come back hopeful and intuitive. I feel because of my past efforts I have better idea of what questions to ask as well as what direction to go... Having already learned what mistakes to make I now know how I go about my creative process and am here to learn from every misstep of the past the traditional teachings for the future. Eager and passive I wait, silently cheering on the intrinsic philosopher savant seeded in every artist. Until the day all comes into full bloom, I am content to listen.